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Dear Amy: I’ve been with my boyfriend “Anthony” for three years. We met in college and moved in together after graduation.
I absolutely adore him and he and I are very compatible and very kind and loving toward each other. Our families know one another and get along well.
Anthony recently told me that he doesn’t see himself ever getting married. His folks divorced when he was a child and each remarried other people. I have never heard that there was any discord there and Anthony seems to have a decent relationship with his parents and stepparents.
When Anthony made his statement, he spoke as if we were just casual pals, sitting around and talking about hypotheticals.
I am fairly shattered to learn this and don’t know what to do now.
Your advice?
– Sad
Dear Sad: You and “Anthony” live together. You are romantic cohabiting partners. His tone might have sounded casual, but I suspect he said this quite deliberately. He is telling you something extremely important about where he stands.
If you are itching to get married (and it sounds as if you are), you really need to have a very serious conversation about this.
Does he see staying with you in an exclusive committed partnership for a very long time? Is he interested in having a family?
I’m sorry you are going through this. You have some tough conversations and choices ahead.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
