Celebrity Big Brother would be nothing without Louis Walsh

Despite his grumping and bitching, the former X Factor judge is one of the favourites to win ITV’s first celebrity version of Big Brother

March 22, 2024 1:56 pm(Updated 2:06 pm)

When ITV announced that a series of Celebrity Big Brother was on the way, I was excited. As a reality TV fan, I’d grown up watching utter chaos unfold on Channel 4 and Channel 5’s versions of the show, from George Galloway pretending to drink milk from Rula Lenska’s hands during a moment of cat cosplay, to the ever-iconic “David’s dead!”, when Angie Bowie’s discovery that her ex-husband, David Bowie, had passed away led to an epic misunderstanding.

After two decades on our screens (and a six-year hiatus) the format might have become tired. But ITV had a chance (and the budget) to revamp it and give us a new slant on CBB, perhaps with a different calibre of “celebrity” or more of a noticeable return to the show’s original premise as a social experiment.

That’s why I was disappointed to see the same motley crew of professional reality stars and soap actors entering the house earlier this month. From 2022 Love Island winner Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu to Coronation Street’s Colson Smith, it felt like I’d seen it all before – contestants who are more concerned with growing their Instagram following, or rebranding as TV presenters and securing a coveted BBC Sounds podcast than giving us great TV.

But there was some intrigue. TV legend and wife of rock royalty Sharon Osbourne entered the house for the first week as a “lodger” (presumably the budget didn’t cover a full stay). She entered with her old on-screen sidekick, Louis Walsh – the longest-reigning X Factor judge and music manager behind Boyzone and Westlife.

After showing herself to be a loveable mother figure and an astute judge of character Sharon left the house, and there was a noticeable drop in energy. And as the series has drawn – or rather, limped – to a close, I’ve found myself thinking, against my better judgement: Thank God for Louis Walsh.

I’ve watched hundreds of hours of reality TV over my lifetime (I dread to think how many in total). I’ve seen marriages fall apart, cheating scandals, people being sent to prison, deaths, makeups and break-ups on different shows. But I’ve never watched someone quite like Walsh.

He has become an anti-hero over the past three weeks, refusing to play the game like other contestants. Forget shielding his reputation or trying to avoid burning bridges, Walsh has never missed a chance to deliver a bitchy comment about people he’s worked with.

He called Irish pop duo Jedward “vile” and initiated a multi-day social media retort from them as they fumed at him from Gemma Collins’s hot tub, of all places. He and Sharon were seen slagging off Simon Cowell and his pre-scripted X Factor stunts, like asking contestants: “Do you have another song?” Or saying: “I didn’t like it… I loved it!”

Walsh said that Ronan Keating was “such a prick” and claimed that he “hasn’t had a hit record since” he sacked him as a manager. In response, Keating said Walsh needed to “move on,” while Jedward furiously called him a “cold-hearted bastard who didn’t even send us flowers when our mom died.”

Walsh’s appeal is grounded in the fact that he seems to be unperturbed by how he might come across as he oscillates between hero and villain. This means that, even when he is being mean or shady, it feels weirdly refreshing. He can get away with being a bit nasty because it feels authentic compared to the younger contestants, who are clearly very anxious about how the public perceives them and what the show might do for their careers. But after so many years in the public eye, Walsh doesn’t need public approval. He’s already had a career.

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In the house, Walsh has alternated between a slightly grumpy (and messy) grandad character who doesn’t care what the rest of the house thinks – and someone who, deep down, does want to be liked and accepted. He seemed genuinely hurt when he was nominated for eviction by his fellow housemates continuously and was punished by Big Brother for discussing nominations more than once. But his ego was inflated by being saved by the public every time.

Walsh also has no problem winding his fellow housemates up. He says things he knows they’re going to find annoying or rude, like when he repeatedly called YouTuber Zeze Millz a “diva”. Or when he kept saying that “even” 66-year-old Fern Britton she looked sexy during a talent show task, where he trotted out his catchphrase: “You look like a star, you sound like a star, you’re a star!”

On Thursday night’s episode, Walsh performatively washed some dishes – a provocative nod to the fact that Housemates kept complaining that he never helped around the house. He also cracked an egg for the very first time which, in its banality, made for great television. How can he have never cracked an egg?!

Part of what is fascinating about Walsh is that, while he’s spilled the beans on former clients and bitched about his fellow Housemates to no end, we still don’t know much about him. We know about his career and people he has met, but his personal life remains an enigma and, money-aside, his motivation for appearing on the show isn’t immediately obvious.

Over many years on The X Factor, Walsh was a constant presence on our screens, but rarely the centre of attention. Still, throughout the various changes to the judging panel, he was part of the secret sauce that made the show work in its heyday. The same thing has happened on Celebrity Big Brother. Whether or not he is crowned the winner of tonight’s live final, this series would have been nothing without him.

Celebrity Big Brother: The Live Final is on ITV1 tonight at 9pm.