DEAR ABBY: My common-law husband and my daughter don’t get along. Even though he is good with kids, she doesn’t want him around her children. The last time we were at her home, he got upset with me. He demanded we leave and went out to the car to wait for me. (I had told my daughter we were staying for two nights; this happened after one night.) My daughter felt he was disrespectful. She was upset and asked me what was going on. I became upset and my granddaughters saw me crying, which got them upset. My daughter then informed me she doesn’t want him around her kids again.
Now, a year later, my husband still will not acknowledge any wrongdoing, nor will she. I’m stuck in the middle. He has threatened that if I spend time with her, he will spend time away from home. I am not choosing him over my kids. How can I handle this? — JUST WANTS PEACE IN CANADA
DEAR JUST WANTS PEACE: Handle this by stepping out of the middle. If you want to see your granddaughters, visit them alone. If your common-law husband follows through on his threat to spend time away from home, that would be the perfect time for him to do it. If you can’t trust him while you take a little family time off, then you don’t have much of a marriage — common-law or otherwise.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.