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When it comes to families at war, Paula Moses has seen it all. The siblings that bring years-old rivalries to the courtroom; the new partners written into a will last minute, or the grandparent that causes outrage by leaving everything to charity. Soon enough, these families end up in court.
Moses is a solicitor specialising in commercial and personal disputes, and has been working with these warring families for 13 years. In the past few years, she has only grown busier. “I’m increasingly finding that I’m approached about an inheritance matter at least once a week,” she says.
In the UK, inheritance disputes are rapidly rising and in the past decade, they have doubled. According to estimates by specialist solicitors, as many as 10,000 people in England and Wales are disputing wills every year.
The most common reason is love. “I think of it as the Last Tango in Halifax effect,” says Moses. “There are a lot more second marriages and relationships now, even if they are not married. Adult children might believe assets that came from their late mother or late father are being unfairly passed over to the other branch of the second family. It might be a new husband or wife, and particularly if the new husband or wife’s children are gaining from it.”
If just one party fails to make a will, things can become particularly messy. “With these relationships, you no longer have just one house and one pension, you’ve got two people who meet each other with different pots of money, and different assets. And they might live together but aren’t necessarily married.”
Sibling disputes are also common, she says. “Even if you have parents who applied a mirror will [so that they mirror each other], so that it devolves equally down to the children, siblings will still contest it,” says Moses. “What you tend to get is a resurgence of old family dynamics. Deep down these siblings believe one was always the favourite and they were the black sheep. She was always the boss. Old roles come out.
“If they perceive that one of their siblings had the best start or they were given a house, or they were given some money for business. I see that age-old cry: it’s not fair.”
Here, Moses explains how to avoid these painful inheritance battles, and how to prevent money from tearing the family apart when a loved-one dies.
The earlier a legal expert is brought in, the better
“It is not uncommon for these disputes to go on for five years,” says Moses. “The sooner you can resolve them, you’ve got a much better chance of healing afterwards.”
There are two types of legal challenges. “Families can dispute the validity of a will by arguing that it wasn’t done by a legal professional or that the author wasn’t in a fit state to agree to its terms, or under the 1975 Inheritance Act, families can argue that a will simply doesn’t provide for a family member as it should have been done,” she explains. “It is becoming more heavily advertised and known that if you aren’t provided for, a will is not as set in stone as people generally think,” says Moses.
By getting a solicitor to oversee challenges early, as soon as a problem is identified with the will, the matter can be settled much sooner. “I find that when I become involved with cases earlier, families have a much better chance of healing afterwards. Things don’t get a chance to become as polarised.”
Open a line of communication
Polarisation usually comes when one side of the family believes the other is withholding information. “Tensions arise simply from a lack of sharing or lack of trust,” she says. “Often, one side is appointed as the will executive and that person will take the will through the probate system. Somebody else can put a caveat, which blocks the probate coming through.”
From Moses’ experience, this immediately becomes adversarial. “It just doesn’t need to be. I would say, always get a line of communication as early as possible, even if that means getting a third party, especially if you have a difficult family history with siblings. It doesn’t have to be a solicitor, it can be a family friend or a mediator.”
Transparency
It is important to tell family members about the contents of your will as soon as it is written. “When someone is close to death, they do sometimes have a habit of telling different things to different people. Nobody wants to be argued with in their last days so they just say what the other person wants to hear,” says Moses. “I have had many cases where one party swears blind they had been promised something and it turns out it is completely different.”
For people who are writing a will, Moses advises honesty. “Make sure your reasons for doing what you’ve done are made clear as notes in the will. It’s important to explain why you have done it,” she says.
Cover all future outcomes
Moses doesn’t see many obvious errors in wills, but future gift-giving can be tricky. “People might want to leave their property to their child, but then if they name the specific property, and then years after the will is written, the will writer goes on to sell that property, that gift fails and any future property won’t be passed on.”
It is morbid, but future tragedies within the family must also be considered. “If a gift is left to a child, but that child dies before the will is read, it needs to be stated whether this will go to a grandchild and be passed down,” says Moses. “Otherwise this gift will also fail.”
All these loopholes can cause family disputes later down the line.
Remember, it’s not your money
Avoiding a sense of entitlement can help resolve disputes sooner. “For recipients, it’s important to remember that the money in the will isn’t actually your money,” says Moses.
To avoid disappointment, never assume inheritance is a given. “I have seen people leave their entire estates to charity. I think sometimes they do it as a statement, because they knew their family cared so much about their money.”
Although estates donated to charity are often disputed in court, charities have strong legal teams that are able to defend them. “A lot of their income comes from wills so they are very good at defending will donations,” she says. “The RSPCA was involved with one recently, and so was Blue Cross.”
